moodless

discovery is a wonderful thing.

until you discover that someone dear has stabbed you in the back.

alone, i bleed. alone, invisible tears stream down my cheeks.

i feel the pain of the dagger pierced into my heart.

i feel numbness in my teeth.

from now on i shall not feel towards anyone anymore.

4 days to go till Christmas. What a terifically perfect present this is.

i hope things will turn out to be all right.

Feeling Stupid. . and about Shah Alam

I dedicate this post to my forgetfulness. Of all things I had to forget the username...listen people, its the username, not the password. The things I do, are always far fro the norm whereby the password is usually forgotten. My dear blog finally I found you again. I hav no idea why when I am using the username recovery service provided by Blogger I cannot access you. You are not in the list. When I log in using google account then I can find you. Sighz...arggg!!! So I guess next time I will just have to use google account to blog again. Its very troublesome. But as they say, in every dark cloud there lies a silver lining. In this case I would call it a golden lining, which not unexpectedly refers to the Google service. If it wasnt for the collaboration between Blogger and Google ( are they independent companies or is Blogger under Google? ) this blog would have to go into permanent slumber mode, albeit unwillingly, huh Dear Bloggie?? *pats Bloggie on his head*

*bloggie wags his tail back at me*

Later I shall give you more doggie bloggie biscuits.

I am in the GMI (German-Malaysia Institute) library as I am typing this. Yesterday I sorta ranaway from home and spent the last night in Tak's hostel in UITM Shah Alam. Got to experience the life of a JPA scholar for just one night. Sneaking into the hostel was a piece of cake due to the guard's laissez faire attitude and Tak's good PR skills with him lol ;P. Apparently they have a curfew; all residents of the hosel are to be in their rooms by 11pm. So didnt get to go out and yamcha. Watched a few of Tak's videos on his laptop. They were freaking funny. Maybe I will send them to you all once I get them. I laughed so hard my stomach muscles felt pain (or I felt pain in my stomach muscles, or my stomach was feeling panful, or etc etc etc whatever u wanna call it my english sucks lol).

Phew didnt knew of the one hour time limit on the PC or else this blog post would go poof and maybe I had to write it all over again at home. About 10 seconds ago i was at the counter utk mintak masa tambahan from the librarian. Thank God I made it in time. Thank God there were only few people using the PCs here or else cannot tambah masa liao. Like I said, there is a silver lining in eve....... XD

Gotta go to the warehouse sale later. I heard there are some great discounts there, up to 90% from the factory price, not the MSRP. yay! can shop more liao! shop shop shop till i drop! LOL..

I think I am becoming more and more like a girl liao.

*looks down to check* XD

Remembrance

Going back to my aunt's house sure evokes a few memories.

As I stepped into the not-so-newly renovated guest room,few scenes popped up in my head;they seem familiar but kinda vague. What was previously an old toilet is now replaced by brown parquet flooring. What was previously yellow walls is now pure white. A newly waxed wooden bed was in place too. It sorta resembles my grandma's bed.

I remember 4 years ago, my granma was bedridden. She couldnt hear us and had virtually no memory. She could not even recall our names, she only recognised our voices and faces. Her hands were thin and frail. I remember how i used to hug her and trying my best to give her reassurance by holding her hand as she trudged through the final stages of her life's path. I always hugged her and tried to convey the message that her dear grandson is always there for her.

Aabout 10 years ago, I used to accompany her to do marketing early in the morning. She was a strong woman of 75could still muster the strength to walk to the market behind my aunt's house. I was a small kid then and my arms had no strength. Nevertheless I would never complain about carrying the rattan basket full to the brim with groceries and foodstuff. Ah Po,I enjoyed your cooking,especially the chicken with ginger and soy sauce. You used to watch Cantonese drama series on the small 14" TV. I used to watch it with you even though I could not understand a single word.

Now that you have left us, the whole house seems different. CNY family reunions seems a bit pointless without your presence. I miss the elation on your face when Ma tells you that we have been such good kids at home, like all parents.

I miss you Granma, in my heart, you will always be.

For everything in life there is a first time.

Just in case case you didn't know, which would probably be the case if you are a nutcase who just stumbled upon this particular web addy in a sea of a few hundred million, this is Ryan's blog. this is my first post here on blogger.

the title for the blog is conceived out of the blue and perhaps due to the fact that i kinda like Linkin Park ( was an LP freak last time, now no more, not sure why tho) and A Place Of My Head is IMHO one of their better songs. And it also means this blog is the place where i pen my thoughts and whatever is churned up in my little brain. (a simpleton, i am not).

Missing 5b people tho. during schooldays ( or U-Days) it was like i could find them easily...either to have fun or to study. now i am kinda stuck in KL with no streamyx but using the turtlish Jaring dial up with a maximum speed of 56kbps. Duh..

will start with something meaningful. ...


to my stomach, that is. Sis just bought a pack of "Snyder's Hanover Jalapeno Pretzel Pieces" snack for us. It had an explosion of pepper smell when i crunch into the little bite sized pieces. Wanted to upload a pic of the packaging but no cable with me. Damn sad.


I read that Jalapeno peppers are one of the most potent ones on earth once upon a time in Reader's Digest. On the official scale of hotness (nt sure what is the name of the scale,but there is such a scale. The things that people with too much time dabble into. LOL) it acheives a high ranking. For people that love spiciness...it tasted orgasmic.

Have been putting on quite a bit recently. Must really exercise after Xmas and before the semester starts.