Monday, May 7, 2007

reflections and happenings @ H.O.M.E ...

Met up with johwyn and wei chuan after quite some time. went to the flats for yam cha session. was interesting to hear what johwyn says about everything under the sun. talked about singapore, talked about malaysia, talked about people we met.

The projection TV at the yam cha place never fails to show the audience and lights up the place with an indescribable atmosphere. It seems like the projection tv had been there since a million years ago. Saw 3 kids, two boys and a girl about the age of 4 to 5 arranging chairs for themselves and sat themselves in front of the TV. They grabbed each other, giggled, laughed and frolicked around with each other, toddlish behaviour nonetheless, innocent to romantic love. Just at that moment, I thought to myself quietly, how nice would it be, if I had a DSLR to capture and encapsule the scenes in the eternal and never failing memory of still images. Plus an effect of black and white would make the pictures look extra meaningful and nostalgic. I guess everyone has a photographer in them.

Went jogging this afternoon. Sun was blazingly hot but I still had enough willpower to lift up my butt from the chair, put on my jogging shoes and drove myself to Taman Tasik, the traditional site for Kluangite joggers. The stamina that I used to have in relative abundance has deserted me somewhat, but thankfully not completely. I find running a full length of the circuit harder; used to run about 4 rounds but only managed to run 1 .5 rounds today. Why? Because i LOST MY CARKEYS when I was jogging. Didnt know that the old Adidas shorts I was wearing had a small hole in the pockets. The car keys had nothing attached to them and I couldnt hear its jingle as it slipped out of my pocket. I discovered what had happened when I was in the toilet; hands felt my poclets but to my horror nothing was in there. NOTHING. My heart was really trodding on its toes then, as I ran another half a round and examined the floor for the presence of the car keys. I gave up soon afterwards as I couldnt find it. A good samaritan was on a motorcycle and volunteered to help me find by riding along the full length of the circuit. I waited and hoped for good news that he would being the car keys back. NOTHING. Thank God I met my form 6 teacher and pinjam his handphone to call back home and tell dad about the news, and phoned Wei Chuan and asked for his favour to take the spare keys from my dad. Everything turned out all right in the end. Thankfully. (a thing to note: the fella that help me find the keys on a motorbike was an indian. when he asked me "cari apa?" i replied "kunci kereta..". On hindsight, kunci means manhood in Tamil. I wondered if he did snigger quietly to himself when i said kunci. heh..then he rode one round in his bike to help me find (my) kunci. Then cannot find (my) kunci. Samo i told him got 2 kunci. Go figure. )

Took dad to the clinic after he discovered blood oozed from the operation wound. The operation has made my dad skinny, perhaps a sign of old age and that the healing of a massive wound saps too much energy out from my dad. The wound was sewed together by the delicate hands of the surgeon, and it grazed three quarters of his anterior. I guess a gash as deep as that would take quite some time to heal. I shuddered a bit as dad described the operation process to me and pictures floated into my mind. lets just say that I pictured a massive cleaver ploughed into the middle of his chest and then drawn downwards.

Thats all for the day. A day of laughs, of logic, of reminiscence, of reminder of God, of many thoughts, of fun and of catching up with people dear to me.

Sunday, May 6, 2007

Once upon a time..

Once upon a time, there was a guy, boy meets girl, girl meets boy, boy loves the girl dearly, he couldnt bear to see the day when some other guy hold that girl's hand, but he couldnt muster up enough courage to let her know, because he had felt the terrible pain of rejection by other girls in the past before, which might be the main reason why that guy tends to trot too carefully and think too much along the path of love.

He wants to be the best boyfriend to this girl that he loves so much.

He wants to be someone whom the girl can talk to, 24/7/365.

He cares for the girl, altho he doesnt show it, because he is too shy to do so, and once again, could be related to the fact that he has tasted the bitter pill of rejection before and dare not risk it.

He also misses the girl, and wants to see her every day, and thought of her before and after he sleeps. He dreams about her in his sleep,but the next day when he wakes up,he feels that the dream is so real to him, and yet it always seems like a dream unreachable when he thinks about it for the third or fourth time due to many circumstances.

He always realises the girl is the one that he wants to be side-by-side with, even though he knows her weaknesses and imperfections, yet he still overlook them and loves her, and asks himself, do i really like this girl? His heart answers a resounding yes, everytime he queries himself, time after time, month after month. and everytime this happens, it only serves as a reminder to him that he is truly lucky to meet a girl like her, and he smiles to himself sweetly in his heart.

He thinks of dropping hints to her that he likes her, but then, wary of the fact that she knows about it and will start to avoid him because of one feeling: awkwardness. Yet, he thinks that (sometimes) telling her might be the better option, rather than letting this drag on and on.

He thinks of all the romantic ways to convey the message of adoration and admiration for her to her, but then everytime he abandons the idea because he knows that life isnt a drama, where those romantic ways always would work like a charm. Everytime reality strikes him, he recoils back from what he is about to do, planned or unplanned, impulsive or after consideration.

*--goes off to sleep.

I think it would be hard for me to sleep tonight.

Really.

I wonder why.

Hmm......