reminiscent...i.e nothing to do??

I remembered this on my bed.

2002. I switched school to Kluang High School. We met online. I had heard about you, Rachel Oh. The prettiest girl in school. You were THE famous one. I chatted with you. You were one of the few juniors I knew when I came in. I didnt fall in love with you at first sight. Our chatting gradually become more friend like. We were friends. I took up the courage to talk to you in person. Time passed. We knew each other better. You were form 3 back then. You looked gorgeous even in school uniform. I didnt knew I would feel for you in that way. Until I started peeking at you from afar; from my class window, from my row where I was standing during weekly assembly, in the canteen when you were eating, after school when you were waiting for your parents at the guardhouse. I never grew tired of it. I started to feel shy in front of you. I wanted to spend more time with you, I wanted to talk more with you, even if it is just bullshitting. I knew you liked Avril;I started to listen to it till I could remember the lyrics. I knew you loved M&Ms;i started to pay more attention to the chocolates. You look stunning in the big earrings and make-up on IU Day 2002. We became good friends, we talked more on IRC. I remember what you wore during our first outing. The images remain crystal clear in my mind until now.

2003. I heard you had a flu. I started to become anxious. I couldnt call you at home because I heard that your mum doesnt like phone calls from strangers. I could understand that. I became concerned about your well-being. By this time, friends had knew everything. Some would tease me while others would pretend not to know about it. I started to sing to Mariah and Westlife's songs when I thought abt you. IU Day,Sepetember 2003. I couldnt bear it anymore. I confessed to you under the school bell. You rejected me on the grounds that my SPM was coming, and that distance would be a problem once we go our separate ways (to different colleges) after Form 5. I was really hurt that time. Tears almost bursted out of my eyes. I could still remember the red top and beige dress you wore that day. It was a raining day, September 6th 2003. It was the worst day of my life. Gradually I comforted myself that what you said was logical and that everything would bear no fruit if we were really together.

2004. My feelings for you started to dissipate. There were still lingering bits of it left in my heart. I knew I couldnt let you go. I decided to do Form 6 that year. No, you were not the chief reason behind this decision. When I saw you in school, I wanted to talk to you. And we did, albeit short conversations. There was this feeling of awkwardness between us, but it wore off as time passed. But it never disappeared completely. I knew I could not let go of you. I bought a photo frame for you for your birthday. You never rejected it, you said thanks to me, giving me hope in the process. I guess you didnt want to hurt me more. Come forth Xmas 2004. I saw a sand art bottle with the words Merry Xmas on it on my travels in Sunway Pyramid, beside the skating rink. I decided to get it just for you. I waited for you on the night of 24th. Alas you were away in Melaka. Somehow I had to give it to you even tho Xmas had passed. Your mum saw me. I guess she didnt like me, I was scared of her. From then on, you started to ignore me.

2005. You were staring your second semester in MMU. I had ur MSN but you always ignored me. For a full year, I had no news of you. I heard no word from you. It was during this time that my wounds healed. They would not have healed if not for your help. I knew something had to be done...this drastically. My feelings for you still lingered on, but they were not as intense as before.

2006 passed by without anything memorable in terms of love life. I started not to think of you. I had my own life away from school. I made more friends than I did in the past when I was stuck only on you. I put more emphasis on friendship and loyalty.

You were an integral part of my growing up. If I ever meet you on the streets, no feelings of shyness would surface. Instead I look to you as the love that helped me grew up.

Thanks.